For the first time since I have been here, this week (5th week) I got that really warm, comforting feeling of being on top of it all. And this came on Doomsday Tuesday of 5th week of all days! (Fifth week is renowned for being the week when everything crumbles for a lot of students, we are just over half way, so close, yet so far. People tend to get sick/ break down -this student 'epidemic' is referred to as "5th week blues")
I woke up at 7am, packed my bag carefully making sure I didn't forget anything, went to my oral class and was the first to arrive. Felt incredibly awake in the class and did a lot of talking. I cycled to a Leopardi lecture straight afterwards, felt like I finally understood some things I had never understood in second year about him, scribbled my notes so fast and so fiercely that when I came out I looked like I was turning into an avatar with the side of my palm completely stained with blue ink. Cycled to another lecture which was equally insightful, cycled to lunch, but limited it to half an hour (that's over-the-top self-control for me- since for the 11 months I was in France lunches always lasted at least an hour!) went to the library in my 45 minute gap (when I would normally go to the coffee shop to clear my head) to revise French vocab and grammar, before rushing to a French prose class, where I had a very nasty translation of Treasure Island to do in exam conditions. Normally this would have totally changed my mood but I was in such a composed state not even that could knock me out of it! I went back to the library and -for the first time this term- sat down with Dante and had a real heart to heart with him, finally giving him the attention he had been seeking all this time. Then, suddenly realizing that this was the first time me and Dante had been so close, had a bit of a freak out at the fact that we have only just managed to click now, in 5th week, after 5 weeks of studying him. But really, after a year abroad, I suppose it's normal that it's taken me this long to really settle back into things. That wasn't even the end of it though, after two hours in the library I rushed off to my Dante seminar - just in case I hadn't had enough of him for that day, to prove my absolute devotion.
I woke up at 7am, packed my bag carefully making sure I didn't forget anything, went to my oral class and was the first to arrive. Felt incredibly awake in the class and did a lot of talking. I cycled to a Leopardi lecture straight afterwards, felt like I finally understood some things I had never understood in second year about him, scribbled my notes so fast and so fiercely that when I came out I looked like I was turning into an avatar with the side of my palm completely stained with blue ink. Cycled to another lecture which was equally insightful, cycled to lunch, but limited it to half an hour (that's over-the-top self-control for me- since for the 11 months I was in France lunches always lasted at least an hour!) went to the library in my 45 minute gap (when I would normally go to the coffee shop to clear my head) to revise French vocab and grammar, before rushing to a French prose class, where I had a very nasty translation of Treasure Island to do in exam conditions. Normally this would have totally changed my mood but I was in such a composed state not even that could knock me out of it! I went back to the library and -for the first time this term- sat down with Dante and had a real heart to heart with him, finally giving him the attention he had been seeking all this time. Then, suddenly realizing that this was the first time me and Dante had been so close, had a bit of a freak out at the fact that we have only just managed to click now, in 5th week, after 5 weeks of studying him. But really, after a year abroad, I suppose it's normal that it's taken me this long to really settle back into things. That wasn't even the end of it though, after two hours in the library I rushed off to my Dante seminar - just in case I hadn't had enough of him for that day, to prove my absolute devotion.
At the end of it all, I went to STACs (the St. Anne's coffee shop) and finally had that hot drink I had missed out on earlier- but I actually savored it so much more than usual precisely because I had really worked for it. I went home feeling really pleased with myself. I know not all days can be like this, but even just a few days like this are what you need to feel really in control. Let's hope I can keep up this composure for the next 3 weeks at least!
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